A Late Lunch

By: Rip

Some people have a knack for finding strange things. Strange things always seem to find Zane Legends.

That's Captain Zane Legends in fact; though some would say that's stretching the definition a bit. Some would also say his mighty galleon, El Chorizo, was a dingy at best. Well, some people would eat their words one day, if he had anything to say about it!

Captain Legends stood tall at the prow of his ship, the warm sea breeze whipping his hair back in what he hoped was a cool way, and tried to put the thought of what words may actually taste like from his mind. He had much more important matters to consider, most of them involving the mass of land rapidly filling the horizon...and also what actual, real food may taste like. Hopefully soon. He made a mental note that their first order of business upon landing on this strange soil should be seeing about lunch.

Three quarters of an hour later Captain Legends took his first step on that soil, and after the obligatory flag planting and ceremonious claiming of the new land in the name of the King, busied himself with exploration. His loyal, barebon...highly efficient crew could take care of all that mooring the ship and lugging supplies business. A task as important as this he would have to oversee directly; that task being, of course, scouting out the perfect spot for a late lunch.

"¬°Ah, chorizo! What a beautiful inlet!" The Captain exclaimed, not long after setting off. He thrust his hands upon his hips and admired the scenery with an air of importance absolutely unnecessary for the action. A few deckhands paused in their work to glance over, and immediately regretted it as this show of interest only caused the Captain to showboat even harder.

"But no, this won't do at all!" He proclaimed loudly, to be sure his audience heard. "Why, this is the Western face of the Isle, and the glare of the setting sun upon the sea would surely be too distracting from our meal! I am certain that such a wonderful land such as this would have a much better location...to...er..." Captain Zane cleared his throat and dropped the pose, as the crewmen had apparently realised their cargo would be better stored on the opposite side of the ship, and were thus conveniently out of earshot.

"Well, no matter." He mumbled, and set off towards the treeline to resume his search.

Hours later, long after all the hard work was completed, someone pointed out that the Captain had been absent for quite a while now. It was suggested that perhaps a search party should be formed. Fortunately the Captain returned of his own volition before they even finished drawing the lots. Unfortunately, however, he wasn't alone.

"Crew, assemble!" Captain Legends barked, emerging from the forest ringed by a small group of short, strange looking men. His crew exchanged confused looks, then sort of shuffled around a bit to try and look more assembled than they already were.

"In my brief exploration of this Isle, I happened across a tribe of indigenous peoples," he proclaimed, gesturing to the small men crowding around him. They were stout, sunweathered and almost completely nude; though what they lacked in clothing they more than compensated for in accessory and body paint.

"This fellow here," he continued, gesturing to the most extravagantly accessorized of the group, "Appears to be some sort of shamanic leader of this tribe. After some very convoluted communication attempts, mostly involving hand gestures and scratched drawings in the dirt, our esteemed host has expressed to me that him and his peoples welcome us to their land and indeed..."

Captain Legends trailed off, then jumped a bit, almost as if something sharp was jabbing him in the small of the back. He swallowed hard, and smiled at his crew.

"...Would very much like to extend that welcome by having us for lunch."

Genre: Historical
Setting: On a beach
Character: Religious figure