A Recipe For Disaster
By: The Great Duhmimchi
Some people have a knack for finding strange things; strange things always seem to find Zane legends. And today was no exception; for today. . . . was a school day. For something that seemed so mundane, so completely normal, a school day was anything but. Today had started out so delightfully average, but it took a turn for the obscure when Zane received a phone call that woke him at 7 that morning.
"Mr. Legends, are you able to substitute my 6th period class?" The Voice asked.
"Subst-wha, your who?" Zane replied groggily.
"My 6th period class, Mr. Legends. I have a meeting I must attend and regretfully I will not be able to be at school for my final class, will you cover it for me?"
"What class is it?" Zane asked.
"Home Economics, we are to be baking some wonderf...."
"I'll do it!" Zane said, suddenly as alert as ever.
As he got out of bed, he turned to look at the clock. "7am! Who are these people!?" he groaned. "Well there is one good thing about being up this early: breakfast!" With that he pranced off to the kitchen.
When 2 o' clock finally rolled around Zane found himself at the school and ready to be filled to capacity with baked goodies. As he entered the classroom, the students all took their seats and quieted their conversations to a whisper. Substitutes were always an exciting surprise for students. Usually substitute teachers cared less about what the normal agenda called for and made up their own, and Zane was no exception to the stereotype.....usually....today however was different. Today.... was a baking day! And Zane couldn't wait to get started with what Mr. Hostencrocker had planned.
"Hello class, I am Mr. Legends, and I will be your sub for this period. Your teacher told me that you were baking today, so....let's get started!" Zane said enthusiastically.
After a moment of groaning from the students, the class stood and made their way to the tables and got started collecting their ingredients. All the kids in the class were busy chatting up a storm with their classmates while trying to throw together whatever their recipes called for, all the kids but one that is.
Stanley sat alone in his usual corner mumbling to himself. He didn't even realize that the rest of the class was gone until Zane approached him.
"Sausages boy, what are you doing still sitting down here," he said. "There are cakes to be made, chop chop!" Zane didn't know why Stanley was sitting by himself, or why he continued to mumble while Zane talked to him, what he did know was one less person baking meant one less baked good that he could steal...err....grade.
"I don't bake, Stanley mumbled. "I'm the T.A.; I just sit here and pretend like I care about what everyone else is doing." Stanley raised his head to face Zane for the first time and he noticed the peculiar scar that he had on his face. "What's that from- were you in a war or something?"
"A War? What are you talking....oh, my scar. It's a funny story really, this one time I..."
"Mr. Legends, Mr. Legends- we need your help over here," a girl called from the other side of the room.
"I'll be back," Zane said. He made his way to the part of the room where the girl had beckoned him to and finally saw the worried expressions on the girls face.
"Don't talk to him!" The girl said. "That's Stanley, he's crazy. He never does anything but mumble to himself. "I think he has been to jail."
"He killed someone at his last school too!" another girl standing close whispered.
"Oh, come on," Zane said. "He can't be all that bad. He seems like a nice enough kid to me. I think I will bake something with him, maybe all he needs is a few friends- did you ever think of that." The girls didn't respond, they simply frowned and continued working on their cakes. And just as Zane was about to ask them what they were making a shout from across the room interrupted his train of thought.
"I KNOW YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ME! I HATE IT WHEN YOU ALL TALK ABOUT ME!" Stanley shouted.
"We weren't talking about you, we were making our cakes." One of the girls replied. "We don't care what you do, you freak!"
"OH YOU WILL CARE! EVERYONE WILL CARE AFTER TODAY!"
"What do you mean Stanley?" Zane asked.
Suddenly Stanley turned pale, and drops of sweat were rolling down his forehead. From his sweatshirt pocket he drew what looked like a small detonation device.
"What is that Stanley?" Zane asked, frustrated that the class was wasting time talking instead of baking.
"I have hidden a bomb in one of the ovens, and on my cue, it will blow the entire room up- as well as half the building." Everyone gasped. "You wanted me to bake huh....well I've definitely got something in the oven now!" His face spread into a smile that made it look wrong. As if the expression itself was not natural on him.
Just then panic spread across Zane's face as he realized that if a bomb went off then no cakes would be made at all. "You can't do this!" He pleaded. "There are too many things at stake, too many lives, too many empty stomachs!"
"No one can stop me now, and your attempts for pity are wasted breaths of air!"
"Everyone Run! Run before he kills us all!"
Zane couldn't see who said it, but it was obvious that everyone heard it, because the whole room erupted into chaos. It was as if what was about to happen finally sunk into everyone's heads. As everyone scrambled to the exits Zane saw the entire scene playing out in slow motion. Children screaming all around him, baking soda and flour flying into the air as the students threw whatever ingredients they had in their hands and dashed for the doors. Seconds had passed and the whole class was empty except for Zane and Stanley.
"I won't let you do this," Zane said.
"You don't have a choice," Stanley replied. With that Zane could see that his fingers were slowly pressing down on a large red button. Zane knew nothing about bombs, but he knew that large red buttons usually meant something that shouldn't be touched. But it was too late, as a last ditch effort at salvation he screamed, "Noooooooo!"
Just then he awoke suddenly in a cold sweat. "So many cakes, ruined." He said sadly. "What a nightmare" he rubbed his head with his sweaty hands, his ears were still ringing from the blast in his dream.....oh wait, those weren't his ears- it was the phone.
"Hello" Zane answered.
"Mr. Legends, are you able to substitute my 6th period class?" The Voice asked.
"Subst-wha, your who?" Zane replied groggily.
"My 6th period class, Mr. Legends. I have a meeting I must attend and regretfully I will not be able to be at school for my final class, will you cover it for me?"
"What class is it?" Zane asked.
"Home Economics, we are to be baking some wonderf...."
The voice never finished.....Zane let the phone drop from his hands and made his way to the kitchen. He was suddenly hungry for cake.....lots and lots of cake.
